I'm calling this second round of cancer along with the dreaded chemotherapy a road trip, no particular reason it's just the way I feel. Road trips take you on highways and dirt roads in areas your unfamiliar with, most of the time its exciting, other times you've been driving for so long you are thirsty and hungry. Suddenly you find a small country store with a gas station and a sign that reads eat here, you knock on the door and it's closed! And so it goes.

Chemotherapy for me is that road trip taking me to that closed county store, I need my energy that only food water and sleep can supply. I know this won't last but it sure seems that way when your in the midst of it.

I think it's very difficult accepting the fact I'm being revisited with ovarian cancer after 9 years. I'm not totally clear which part of this for me is the worse to accept, is it hearing I have cancer or this horrible 6 months of chemotherapy? I hate chemo! Cancer sneaks up on you, your not aware you have it, chemotherapy does not sneak up on you, we pretty much know what we're in for.

My personal nightmare is the side effects of this particular treatment. I didn't realize it was going to be so hard on me, my oncologist told me I was going to be very tired, what I didn't expect was that it was going to last for so long. The steroids in chemo have also caused many sleepless nights, shortness of breath, a battle with memory loss and the inability to find the right words when trying to express myself in conversation and a few other issues I don't care to go into. Have I mentioned I hate this?

My appetite is gone, don't know when that will come back, when I saw I was losing weight I thought I could use losing a few pounds but not at the expense of my over all health, I need to eat!

My daughter is making healthy smoothies for me then watching to make sure I drink them. I get a gentle scolding if I'm not drinking the entire glass. She will be leaving soon I will miss her (which is an understatement ).

Be strong in your faith, I've been struggling with mine, that's another issue I hate. I know my Father loves me, too many times I have been seemingly unresponsive to my prayer life. That's not a good place to be.

On an upscale our golf tournament was a huge success, I was unable to attend, I missed a great day. We grossed $ 67,000.00 net $50,000.00 all for ovarian cancer research.

Now that's the road trip I want to be on, where the road takes you to a beautiful meadow, snow capped mountains in the distant peaceful place of serenity, That's where I would love to be, this nightmare will come to a close, I will have my energy back again I will be continuing on with life and our foundation.

With many blessings,
Sharon Leigh